Sacrificing my kids might be easier…

I don’t really remember what I wanted to be when I grew up.  I mean, I remember several things that at one time or another I wanted to do.  Singer.  Paleobiologist.  Oceanographer.  Actress.  Professional Dolphin.

Then as a young adult, I wanted to be a Writer. A Counselor. A Game Developer. A Project Manager. A Nurse. Artist.

I still want to be about 5 of those things.  When I grow up.

I don’t remember what I wanted to be, but a mediocre Sales Administrator wasn’t it.

My mother told me once that she guessed I would be an English Teacher.  I might have been, but I was determined to avoid like the plague anything my mother suggested I should do, and the more practical her advise, the more plague-avoiding I did!

I suppose that there are lots of things I might have been if I’d abandoned all the other things I wanted to do.  So, instead of picking one of them, and letting the others go, I didn’t do any of them.

Not even Professional Dolphin, though, to be fair, I don’t really know how to Dolphin.  Not Professionally, anyway.

It’s probably not my guidance counselor’s fault that she never suggested Muppeteer, Travel Blogger or Myth Buster.

All I do know is that if I’m going to achieve a dream, I’m gonna have to commit to it, and follow through. Press every decision into service of that dream, and let the others go.  Or I can hold on to a flock of dreams and let them all stand unfulfilled.  I wish I still believed in reincarnation, like I did in my last life, and believed that I’d have lives in which to be all the things I want to be.

I always heard that I could do anything I wanted to do.  Nobody ever told me I could do everything that I wanted.  This is very much like trying to pick which of your children should live. That might actually be easier, depending on your kids.

What it comes down to is that inaction is easier.  Blaming your guidance counselor is easier.  Professional Dolphining is probably easier than going out on that limb and putting forth that effort and trying knowing that if you fail, you failed not only yourself, but all the dreams you sacrificed for that one.



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